What is fucked up, Alex?

Sometimes, I look in the mirror and wonder how the hell I got here. Or there, rather. I'll go the fridge and think I should've went to the dryer instead. You don't put clothes in a refrigerator. Rather, you don't if you want them dry.

But there's more to it than just my brain being broken. It's the questions we ask ourselves even when we've went where we meant to found exactly what we meant to find. Why do I only ask them when I've fucked something up?

To me the questions always sound like a song you love but the lyrics are intellegible so you don't know what they are but you sing along anyways, making sure the words you do know you sing loud and clear like it's some sort of revelation, not from God or even your mother, but from a common truth you find in the ashtray of an abandoned car. It's more like a strip of fortune cookie wisdom or the way a dog looks up to you with a knowing look, like he knows where you're bound and he'll see you when you get there.

thursday haiku

400 horses
stir under a rusty hood
waiting to gallop.

Does anyone even read this damn thing?

REally, does anyone?

Anyways, so I was watching Current for the first time last night, you know, Al Gore's "non-corporate" TV channel. I can't wait for the fucker to sell out.

It's supposed to be viewer made programming with little "pods" and what not. Pods being little short shows that are somewhat boring. And pretentious. They're chock full of artsy adjectives to try and make whomever made it look like an artist or visionary documentary maker instead of a navel-gazing college student who just got a thesaurus.

Though I did learn something. Their hosts are devoid of personality. Not a big surprise, considering the source.

I also learned it's incredibly easy to get a medical marijuana card in California. Like you just tell them you have back pain and Doctor Feelgood writes you up for one. I'm thinking thriving business opportunity here.

After watching about an hour of pods and some guy speaking terrible resteraunt Spanish followed by another guy sitting cross legged on the floor talking about blogs (it must be to show how uncorporate he is) I do think there's real possibility with this whole channel. They just need to get cameras and editing equipment in the hands of some people with something acutally interesting to show.

Busy Weekend

Damn, it was a busy one.

Friday, I arrived in town, visited an old friend who told me another old friend and her husband had been tossed in the hoosegow.

Wake up Saturday, do some visiting, learn to drive a 10-wheeler with a 10 speed tranny. Get a truck stuck in the field. Arrive at a wedding reception, late, but am the best dressed fucker there. Seriously. See brother and his wife for dinner.

Wake up Sunday and help brother unload 5 1/2 ton of hay. Drive back home.

What did you all do?

Things I Think About While Sitting on the Hopper

I wonder if the automatic light system is turned to on?

I should really tear off that tiny bit of rubber on the toe of my boot.

When is someone going to get that booger off the wall?

I love it when my dog burps while I'm scratching him behind the ear. What a good dog. I need to make him a new collar with his name on it.

Ahhh. E really does equal MC squared!

If that one alien, Keska, on Star Trek Voyager, came from a race that only lived seven years at most, how could they build a civilization? Were they born smart or something?

What the hell did she see in Neelix anyways?

Damn it. The automatic lights aren't on all the way. How in the hell am I going to tuck in my shirt?

Maybe I should throw my hat over the stall. Nah. If someone walks in that'd be embarrassing.

Stupid lights.

thursday haiku

the whispy smoke stirs
down the valley from the fields
change is in the air.

tandyericks59758077 is a prick

I doubt this person will actually read this. However, spamming blog comments is so passe'. Can't you be more creative than that, dumbass?

Plus, you got my hopes up that someone (besides me) has been actually checking this thing. That's just mean!

So, tandyericks59758077, get a life, learn how to really spam something well (like the serps or ihelpyou forums, and don't come back here again. Unless you're actually going to read this stuff and post some sort of real, nasty, comment.

Live and Learn

Well, fuck. Looks like no ones around. And I don't have anything of any intelligence to say. I could tell you a funny shit-related story, but I think it's one of those that's only funny when you're there.

So anyways, I get to crawl under my car and get all greasy to replace the alternator. Whoopee-fucking-doo. Pedro is a good car, and he's done well by me, but I'm so sick of crawling under the hood to replace something. Just when I want to dump some money into the Jinx, sure as shit something else goes wrong that's going to cost money. That's why the title is still under my brother's name. And why I haven't gotten my ass under there and replaced the starter. Or torn off the drum and had it turned. Anytime I think about doing anything to the son of a bitch, sure as pigeons shit on statues, there's some sort of money issue. Meanwhile, the Jinx starts to get a little more faded and another year passes without the engine turning over. Still, one helluva' good looking yard ornament.

So, tonight I'll get the alternator. Tomorrow I'll find a way to get Pedro up on ramps and then crawl under the poor little bastard and spend the next 5 nights fucking with taking it off, skinning my knuckles, managing to get grease all over my face and getting generally pissed off. I'm sure the neighbors will hear the words "Fuck", "Goddammit", "Sonofabitch", "Motherfucker" and "Shit" ring throughout the hollow. Though I bitch about doing it, there's no greater satisfaction of finishing the project and having everything run. Like last year when it took me the better part of a month just to change a power steering hose. Which then turned into a power steering pump. Which then ended with me looking like a total jackass when I chewed out the Carquest guy for selling me the wrong part and he asks me if I tried turning it around. Thanks for the advice fucker. Why didn't you tell me that three fucking weeks ago before I dropped more money into this project?

Oh well, live and learn and choose your words carefully for you never know which ones you'll have to eat.

thursday haiku

I waited for her
by the creek but only met
the late spring breezes.

It's About Time. Goodbye, Jinx.

Well, I think it's time to sell the Olds. There's yellow jackets now nesting around the taillights- a sure sign I haven't been working on it enough.

The worst part is that the Olds has the potential to be a really sweet ride. It's a 1965 Ninety-Eight, the Cadillac of Oldsmobiles so to speak. Though, I guess if it were the Cadillac of Olds then it'd be a Cadillac since they're both made by GM. Or were until for whatever reason they decided to stop production of the Oldsmobile lineup, though keeping Buick. I mean, c'mon- Buick? At least Olds had the 4-4-2 and the Rocket and other sweet milestones. The last time Buick made a noteable ride is in the early 50's!

Anyways, so, since it's a mid-60's car, you know the fucker is long. Really long. Like 25 feet long. And wide too. With a big-ass trunk. Let me put it this way- the trunk is so big that if I lived near Canada or Mexico I'd start smuggling illegals across the border to supplement my income. I could probably fit half a dozen illegals in there. Plus, if I hollowed out the rear seat, probably get another two. Just depends on how you stacked them.

This car is pure class. Black with a white top. Unfortunately, surface rust, which is easily removed, is starting to take over the paint. Not badly, but the shit is still there and really making the paint job look fucked.

For power junkies, the Olds has a big fat 455 big block shoved under the hood. When my brother built the engine, he built it for a minimum 400 horsepower. You put a hitch on the fucker and you could tow the piss out of a trailer. Or run from the feds when they discover you have a trunk full of illegals. The original engine, sadly was blown up by my brother, but could do 90 and it felt like you were only going 45. It just sits low and mean to the ground and floats like a big, black cloud down the highway.

But, my interests are changing. I want an older car, preferably early 50's or late 40's. Or I might just spend all the money on beer and candy. But it's still time to tell an old friend goodbye. Hopefull I'll get 3 or 4 or 5 grand for the beast. And hopefully someone who sees the potential of the car will get it and not someone who just wants a monster motor to drop into to something else.

It's a sin

to be working inside when it's beautiful outside. It's about 86 degrees F and sunny with a slight breeze rustling through the trees and brush. It was like that yesterday and supposed to be all through the week.

But instead I'm stuck in here. The A/C is keeping it so cold I have on a green sweatshirt my sister in law got me for Christmas. I'm so glad she did too. It's the only hooded sweatshirt I have and without it I'd be freezing my ass off. And for the ride home, it'll be so fucking hot on account I have to run the heater to keep my car from overheating.

So really, I should be home, messing with horses or fences or anything outside. Or going for a nice long drive through Lorane Valley. Or anything than working.

thursday haiku

I hold in my arms
the past, present and future
quietly sleeping.

Why not just move the capitol?

Good question.

One, why? Washington DC has a long history of being this nation's capitol. Though it was in New York at one point, Americans yesterday, today and tomorrow will always regard DC as the Capitol City. So why bother?

Two, could you imagine the impact having two nations with two independant capitols would have on lobbyists? They'd have to spend twice as much to fight whatever fights they're fighting, assuming they'd set up second branches in the newly formed Western States. I also imagine corporate pull wouldn't have the impact it does.

Three, just moving the capitol won't change the pull of this government's focus. It is still deeply entrenched in life on the other side of the Mississippi, well, there and California, as is all reform.

Four, it doesn't address the issue of bringing everything down to a more regionalized focus, which in my opinion is healthier than the way things are. Remember the European Union Constitutional vote? Why was it rejected? It couldn't solely have been because the French were thumbing their noses at Chirac because other nations rejected it too. It's because people don't want other's who don't live in their region dictating how they're supposed to live and do business.

Why the WSSM?

So you might be wondering if I like the US so much why would I want to divide the Union up?

Simple. I like the West better and my loyalties lie there.

Just as the Eastern sea board seemed to be upset with things not going their way in the last election (not all, but there was a pretty vocal outcry on late night programs and such based in New York), I'm personally tired of people over there telling me how to live my life and what I can or cannot do with my property.

I also feel things are better taken care of at a more local level than when you have an entire continent. Or at least a big chunk of it. With the nation's capital over in Virginia and Maryland, I think the Western States, since they're farther away, get a little forgotten about- outside of California. The country is bigger over here, and each state definitely has it's own culture, just as I imagine the Eastern States do. So, wouldn't two smaller nations help to preserve the cultural identities of those states better than one huge, all-encompassing nation?

I also think the East Coast should be able to make their own decisions without the Californians or anyone else screwing with their stuff. Hell, we have enough troubles with Californians without throwing in people from back East wanting to get involved! Seriously though, there are problems over here that I think often get overlooked, just as there are problem over there that get overlooked. If we were able to take care of our own a little more both sides of the Mississippi would have to benefit, wouldn't they?

I warned you all . . . . .

Okay. So it appears I've been abandoned. Not that I'm complaining, but, you know. You make a threat, you have to make it real or you just look like an asshole. So . . . .

Dear Reader,

The United States of America is a fine nation. However, there comes a time when a nation needs to evolve or risk dissolving. I hereby put forth the idea of the Western States Separtist Movement (WSSM).

Though there's tons of technology out there to try and keep us unified, we are still divided by cultural differences, as seen in the last election. New Yorkers and other East Coasters screamed in vain that people in Montana, Kansas and Idaho didn't vote the way they did. As time goes on, these differencs will become markedly obvious.

What I propose is to divide this fine nation down the Mississippi River, and give the Western States Alaska and Hawaii, unless of course Hawaii is still wanting to be rid of us all. As East Coasters are tired of the Mid-West and West telling them how to live their lives, the West Coast feels the same. With this division, these east and west regions can build regulations and ways of living that suit the needs of the people who live there, versus having a far away political center that is out of touch trying to rule the masses it is out of touch with.

This is to be a peaceful movement. NO bombings. NO stand-offs. Just legislation and the peaceful creation of two brother nations that will stand together in times of need yet go their own ways in cultural, political and economic beliefs. This supposed to be a fight of ideals and ways to make this nation better, or rather these nations better. The only thing I want lost are tempers, not lives. Just a battle of ideas, not people.

Alright, that's what I have for now. I'll keep you all posted! =D