speaking of dawgs . . . .
Well, not you all but dogs in general. You know how there are some people you like but when you're trying to get shit done they're the last people you want around? You know, they're smart and fun and likeable, but pretty much fucking worthless when you're trying to do stuff. That's my dog, Raleigh.
I love him to death, but Raleigh is about as useful as a nipple on your dick. Seriously. He's one of the neatest animals I've ever been around and he's so in tune to us it's scary sometimes. When you look in his big brown eyes you can tell there's more going on than in most dogs' heads and the way he gets all wiggly when we get home is adorable. He's a mutt, but he's so cute with his blocky little body and soft, black and white coat.
But when you're trying to do something, like getting horses in, he's no fucking help. And it's not much of a surprise since he's not a herding dog like our Corgi, Cali. He has not a herding bone or instinct in his body, which is half bulldog and half Springer Spaniel.
However, he loves to help. And he loves to run around and bark at the horses. And then get the horses pissed off so they try stomping on him. And since he's scared, he runs and hides behind us with the horses just steps from smashing his ass. Raleigh, while trying to help, will stand in the way of the gate we're trying to get them to go through, barking and biting at them the whole damn time and then chase them to the far corner of the pasture. A job that would take 5 minutes tops ends up turning into a 20 minute adventure involving blackberry brambles and cursing.
Raleigh does have his good points. When given the opportunity he'd much rather shit anywhere but in the yard. And hair covers his asshole so you don't see dog butthole when you walk him. He also barks at weirdos and homeless people, which keeps the panhandlers from knocking on our window and bugging us red lights. He's just shitty at herding horses though he'd really like to be a herding dog.
Is there a moral to this story? Not really. It's more of a chance to bitch about how wonderful my boy Raleigh is. Have any family members like him?
I love him to death, but Raleigh is about as useful as a nipple on your dick. Seriously. He's one of the neatest animals I've ever been around and he's so in tune to us it's scary sometimes. When you look in his big brown eyes you can tell there's more going on than in most dogs' heads and the way he gets all wiggly when we get home is adorable. He's a mutt, but he's so cute with his blocky little body and soft, black and white coat.
But when you're trying to do something, like getting horses in, he's no fucking help. And it's not much of a surprise since he's not a herding dog like our Corgi, Cali. He has not a herding bone or instinct in his body, which is half bulldog and half Springer Spaniel.
However, he loves to help. And he loves to run around and bark at the horses. And then get the horses pissed off so they try stomping on him. And since he's scared, he runs and hides behind us with the horses just steps from smashing his ass. Raleigh, while trying to help, will stand in the way of the gate we're trying to get them to go through, barking and biting at them the whole damn time and then chase them to the far corner of the pasture. A job that would take 5 minutes tops ends up turning into a 20 minute adventure involving blackberry brambles and cursing.
Raleigh does have his good points. When given the opportunity he'd much rather shit anywhere but in the yard. And hair covers his asshole so you don't see dog butthole when you walk him. He also barks at weirdos and homeless people, which keeps the panhandlers from knocking on our window and bugging us red lights. He's just shitty at herding horses though he'd really like to be a herding dog.
Is there a moral to this story? Not really. It's more of a chance to bitch about how wonderful my boy Raleigh is. Have any family members like him?
posted by MrHill at 5:07 pm
2 Comments:
Dogs are funny like that. What kind of breeds were Dakota?
I love staffordshires. They're such good-looking dogs.
Sounds like it was good at guarding shit!
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