Goddammit Gargamel! Get a Fucking Lid!
Why in the hell didn't Gargamel get a lid for his fucking pot? He hated those Smurfs as much as I did, and he wanted to eat those little blue bastards, yet he never ponied up the bucks to get a lid for his cauldron! What a dipshit!
Yes, I realize it was a stupid ass cartoon. But when you had only one channel, were all 8 years old, wanted to watch some animation and were fed an hour of those annoying little fuckers with all their fucking "Smurfisms" and bullshit, you so badly wanted to see Gargamel win the day. But no. The cheap fucker wouldn't get off his lazy ass, go into town and buy a lid for his stupid-ass pot. He deserved to live in that hovel if he was too lazy to get a lid.
And his cat Azreal wasn't much better. Cats are supposed to be so fucking smart, yet this one wouldn't leave Gargamel. It chose to live in squalor and barely have enough to eat. Instead of just picking them out of the pot while dumbass wasn't looking, he just let them escape. Fucking cat.
Just think of all the wonderful things that would have happened if Gargamel had just bought a damn lid! You realize the most important Smurfs were always caught, like Handy and Papa and Brainy and Chef and Smurfette. With their leader, engineer, food source, smart annoying fucker and source of blue pussy all caught and eaten, their little blue society would have crumbled. There would have been more damn chaos than we could have imagined. Their dam would have broke. There'd be those little blue bastards starving in the streets. They'd of had to resort to homosexuality (which we know doesn't matter in the creation of new Smurfs because a new Smurf comes along once every blue moon). But still. They'd been too busy cat-fighting each other and shit. (if this seems deroguatory then blame E! and Will and Grace.) The stupid "la-la-da-la-la-la" song would have been silenced.
And an eight-year-old and his brother would have maybe gotten an hour of Thundar or Scooby Doo instead.
Yes, I realize it was a stupid ass cartoon. But when you had only one channel, were all 8 years old, wanted to watch some animation and were fed an hour of those annoying little fuckers with all their fucking "Smurfisms" and bullshit, you so badly wanted to see Gargamel win the day. But no. The cheap fucker wouldn't get off his lazy ass, go into town and buy a lid for his stupid-ass pot. He deserved to live in that hovel if he was too lazy to get a lid.
And his cat Azreal wasn't much better. Cats are supposed to be so fucking smart, yet this one wouldn't leave Gargamel. It chose to live in squalor and barely have enough to eat. Instead of just picking them out of the pot while dumbass wasn't looking, he just let them escape. Fucking cat.
Just think of all the wonderful things that would have happened if Gargamel had just bought a damn lid! You realize the most important Smurfs were always caught, like Handy and Papa and Brainy and Chef and Smurfette. With their leader, engineer, food source, smart annoying fucker and source of blue pussy all caught and eaten, their little blue society would have crumbled. There would have been more damn chaos than we could have imagined. Their dam would have broke. There'd be those little blue bastards starving in the streets. They'd of had to resort to homosexuality (which we know doesn't matter in the creation of new Smurfs because a new Smurf comes along once every blue moon). But still. They'd been too busy cat-fighting each other and shit. (if this seems deroguatory then blame E! and Will and Grace.) The stupid "la-la-da-la-la-la" song would have been silenced.
And an eight-year-old and his brother would have maybe gotten an hour of Thundar or Scooby Doo instead.
posted by MrHill at 10:34 pm
2 Comments:
That ones just for you, Matt!
;)
Just took some of your advice. thought you might like it, maybe not.
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