Well . . . .

Thank God we don't camp on Memorial Day Weekend anymore. Yep it rained. Big heap rain with monster drops. But on the plus side it has the dark, overbearing clouds which I love when they're not flooding the ditches and roads. They seem to make all the colors brighter and life just that much more lovely.

And Happy Birthday to Matt! Hope it was a good one! May this trip around the sun be better than the last. And may the next one be better than this one!

Memorial Day Weekend Rocks! Sort Of.

Weekends are nice on their own. But Memorial Day weekend is quite another treat. Sure, I should spend time meditating on the war dead and those I know who have passed. But we all know what will be happening: drinking lots of beer and getting fucked up. It's an American tradition!

We used to do a lot of camping on this weekend. There was a little spot that was so shitty that no one would camp at it, making it perfect for minors to get shitfaced without getting hassled by the staters. However, there was always one drawback. It seemed to rain every fucking time. So what would start out to be a weekend of relaxation and beer, whiskey or whatever else was available drinking would turn into a wet night in soggy sleeping bags and fighting with the missus to be. Not a whole lot of fun. And there'd always be someone who you wished wouldn't have shown up and you can't just throw 'em in the river and watch 'em drown because of laws and shit and someone would eventually miss their annoying ass. After all the fighting, the being miserable and all the other bullshit, everything you owned that wasn't soaking-ass wet smelled like campfire smoke.

Needless to say, the tradition eventually ended.

So now, this holiday weekend, I'm going to do a whole helluva' alot of nothing. I might finally finish swathing the back yard, I might not. I might clean out the garage or say fuck it, I want a gin and tonic. Though I miss my drinking buddy, I'll manage. I might try to get the Olds mobile or say screw it, the weeds look nice growing around. But I can guarantee you that you won't see my fat ass scurrying in and out of a tent.

So Den, Matt, have a nice weekend!

Thursday Haiku

Rosie O'Donnell
Your shitty poetry is
worse than my haikus.

And just for Den:

Chasing green fairies
will rot your fucking brain out.
Drink gin and tonics!

How about this . . . .

Okay, here's an idea I've been kicking around for a month or two. And it's not new by any means, but it might be fun and maybe even interesting.

The three of us have pretty varied musical tastes and come from different walks of life and interests. So how about a mix CD exchange?

What I'm thinking is once every four months, one of us three mail the other two a mix CD of stuff we have in our collection. Just stuff we like and want to share, good, bad or indifferent. With Matt's musical background , it's be interesting to see what inspires him and maybe we'd get a few sneak previews. And since Den lives over there and is always quoting ABBA, it'd be interesting to see what she'd throw together. Once the CD is out and received by the other two, we could post the song list here. Or not. Who knows.

This could be cool or a total fucking waste of time. Personally, I think it'd be fun to see what you guys like. Hell, you might even broaden my musical horizons a bit.

You all game?

Or you all want my speculations on the Belmont?

Afleet Alex

I don't know if you all watch horse racing at all, but Saturday was amazing. Truly amazing.

Going into the Preakness, I had a feeling Afleet Alex was going to be the winner. The odds makers marked him as such, by race time he had the 3-1 odds and statistically the favored horse in the Preakness wins. However, after watching the Derby, it was plain to see this horse was going to win because of it's tremendous will to win. Spanish Chesnut was trying to set a suicide pace and the Afleet Alex, while not running neck and neck with S.C., was able to keep up enough to come in third while nipping on the heels of the horses who were taking the bait.

So, you can guess who I wanted to see win.

And he did.

But that's not what's amazing. This horse, towards the end of the race, while making it's move, almost went down and all you see is this jockey doing his damndest to stay aboard while this horse bears down and goes all out to win. It was one of the most incredible things I've ever seen. I heard a couple years ago a Derby winner did the same thing, but to see it happen and then see this three year old was still geared up and ready to run another mile or two, there's just no words to say how impressive it was. Yeah, a good jockey can make or break a winner. However, this horse just had this incredible will to win. I won't be surprised to see it win the Belmont. It's too bad Afleet Alex isn't going in as a Triple Crown contender.

What an amazing animal. It's the first time I've ever understood why people get drawn to inspirational stuff like the Virgin Mary appearing in a water stain on a subway tunnel. There's just something so amazing, that inspire such awe, that you want to be in its presence. I wish I could scratch this horse behind the ears and pat it on the neck. You just want to be in its presence.

Goddammit Gargamel! Get a Fucking Lid!

Why in the hell didn't Gargamel get a lid for his fucking pot? He hated those Smurfs as much as I did, and he wanted to eat those little blue bastards, yet he never ponied up the bucks to get a lid for his cauldron! What a dipshit!

Yes, I realize it was a stupid ass cartoon. But when you had only one channel, were all 8 years old, wanted to watch some animation and were fed an hour of those annoying little fuckers with all their fucking "Smurfisms" and bullshit, you so badly wanted to see Gargamel win the day. But no. The cheap fucker wouldn't get off his lazy ass, go into town and buy a lid for his stupid-ass pot. He deserved to live in that hovel if he was too lazy to get a lid.

And his cat Azreal wasn't much better. Cats are supposed to be so fucking smart, yet this one wouldn't leave Gargamel. It chose to live in squalor and barely have enough to eat. Instead of just picking them out of the pot while dumbass wasn't looking, he just let them escape. Fucking cat.

Just think of all the wonderful things that would have happened if Gargamel had just bought a damn lid! You realize the most important Smurfs were always caught, like Handy and Papa and Brainy and Chef and Smurfette. With their leader, engineer, food source, smart annoying fucker and source of blue pussy all caught and eaten, their little blue society would have crumbled. There would have been more damn chaos than we could have imagined. Their dam would have broke. There'd be those little blue bastards starving in the streets. They'd of had to resort to homosexuality (which we know doesn't matter in the creation of new Smurfs because a new Smurf comes along once every blue moon). But still. They'd been too busy cat-fighting each other and shit. (if this seems deroguatory then blame E! and Will and Grace.) The stupid "la-la-da-la-la-la" song would have been silenced.

And an eight-year-old and his brother would have maybe gotten an hour of Thundar or Scooby Doo instead.

alright alright already

Okay, so some people don't think I'm dedicated.

Some are threatening me and shit. Okay. Cool. ;)

But the truth of the matter is I don't have a whole helluva' lot to say. Seriously. Not a whole lot is going in my life and there's even less than anyone would want to hear about. I'm not a particularly deep person and, as someone pointed out the other day, I don't do anything useful for society in large. Unlike Doug Supernaw, ain't no deep thoughts coming from this shallow mind.

So, dear friends, don't be offended. I'm just not a particularly interesting person! I am the antithesis of interesting. Once in a while I daydream about fucking shit up, but there's enough violence and shit to go around. And it's just not all that interesting. Like the other day I had this urge just to throw my monitor through this big window. Did I do it? No. Interesting would have been actually tossing the fucking thing through the glass. But if I had, would I have posted it? Probably not. It's just not that goddammed interesting!

And I figure the last thing you all really want to read is my opinion on some stupid ass movie I watched. Or some big cultural event or some shit like that.

So, there you have it. I'm a very boring person who's hard on things!

but you will get shitty haiku every thursday!

thursday Haiku

"Give pizza a chance"
scrawled on dirty cardboard box
Give this guy a buck.

Thursday haiku

smell birkenstock shoes
wash your stinky fucking feet
dirty ass hippy

PS-

Den's lying. She wears that damn Scooby suit everywhere. I think it needs to be taken to the cleaners.

=)

Yup, it's me

Alright you all, MrHill is back. Back again. Fuck it.

Anyways, good to see all you fine people out there in 1's and 0's land! But let me clarify one thing Den said about sense of humor and junk- I don't really have one. Really. I'm about as funny as stepping in dog shit and twice as annoying but you can't get rid of me by wiping your shoe in the grass or scraping me off with a stick.

Believe it or not, unlike Den and Matt, this is my first time on a blog thingy. Yep, I bonafide blog virgin. And no Matt, I'm still not dropping my britches for you.

It kind of sucks that Den and Matt live East of here. It means just when I'm getting ready to crack my first beer of the morning one's already passed out and the other one already drunk. Looks like more drinking alone for me! Ah well, I suppose more for me! It also sucks that I don't have any sort of high speed connection and only a crappy old dial up on lines Mr. Bell probably installed himself. So that means I get to hammer these out in 15 minutes! Though I suppose there's no reason for it to take any longer. Matt, Den, is there?

So let's fuck shit up! Let's burn some shit and stuff! It's Wednesday and there's nothing better to do!