Man!

if you thought this blog couldn't get any more exciting, it doesn't get updated regularly. Which, dear readers, I know keeps you on the edge of your seats, pondering, "Hmm, when will it get written in next and by whom?"

Crazy shit, I know. After all, I'm quite familiar with crazy shit. You want to see some crazy shit, melt down some crayons and drink the wax. Yeah, it tastes terrible. But you will produce some of the craziest shit ever!

Or try going on an all milk diet for about a month. Then after your poo gets to a creamy, yellowish-whitish color, drink something crazy colored like Kool-Aid or some obnoxious fruity drink (I'm referring to the flavor and color, not the people who normally order them). Man, that's some crazy shit!

For more fun, lay a nice solid turd in the toilet. Make sure it's a nice, dry one. Then leave it in the hopper over weekend. Come back and that sonofabitch is all swollen and twice as smelly! Now THAT is some crazy shit!

Thursday Haiku

last week was porno
this week was Baptist College
internet jobs rock

Hello

and goodbye.

When the field's wide open I'll take the horse with the biggest heart.

Chopped Liver

Well, Matt, you're banned and I'm ignored. So I guess we see how we rate now. ;)

Another River Runs Through It . . . .

It being my garage this time. Wouldn't you know that procrastinating in mortaring up the foundation would come around and bite me on the ass? We're two inches ahead on rainfall for the year and I'm pretty damn certain it's all running through my fucking garage. Last night I was digging checks in the lawn trying to divert all the water around it. The shovel and the mud reminded me of flood irrigating in the old days.

So, assuming my house doesn't turn into a friggin' houseboat, things are good. Sounds like it's wet all over. And I know I shoiuldn't bitch; it's just doing what it does over here. But I'm so sick of the fucking mud and the muddy dogs and cats and all the other shit I'm about ready to pack up the whole family Okie-style and move to Arizona or New Mexico. Just somewhere where there isn't any fucking mud.

And it's still just the two of us, eh? >=)

A River Runs Through It . . . .

. . . it being my fucking driveway. We had so much friggin' rain lastnight it overran a 3 foot ditch and over the top of our driveway and back into the ditch. Unfortunately it was back to normal by the time 6:30 rolled around. =/

So, on side of the mountain I get snow and a little rain all winter while on this side all I get is rain. And with copious amounts of rain you get 6 inches of mud everywhere. I'm moving to Arizona.

Oh, and one warning. Never get free installation from DirecTV. I swear to God they must hire the laziest, most ignorant people to do that shit. Three years ago we ordered the satellite TV with the free install. So, while I was at work (wife at home), these two clowns come out, drill a whole in the fucking floor (instead of dropping it down the wall), poke a whole n the screen to keep vermin from getting underneathe the house and call it good. I thought the nightmare ended there- until last night when I had to get under the house to unplug the sump pump which was going crazy pumping all the water out of the gray well. Turns out these fuckheads also stripped out the damn screws too. So, instead of 10 minute job, I'm out there until 11 at night fucking with a goddamm screen to get under there.

Fuck you, DirecTV. Fuck you and your free installation. I swear to God if my wife ever points out those clowns to me I'm going to punch them in the fucking throat.

Okay

So who's gonna' help me on my free iPod scheme?

I will keep beating this drum until I get an answer!


Answer me this!!!!!!!









okay, so anyways, um, what's been going on?

I've been getting to play veterinarian on a horse. Last night she tried to kick me. We have a small river running through our backyard.